Monday, March 20, 2017

The Working Woman

When I expressed to my female higher-up at work that I wanted to be a stay-at-home once my husband and I were ready to start our family and after our home was purchased, I was met with a lot of ridicule and basically told to shut up. After I expressed that I wasn't the working type of woman, especially not in customer service (I would love my job completely and could get it done in way shorter time, leaving me more time to enjoy life if I never had to deal with patients), she told me to suck it up and accused me of having "problems at home", and that I could never stay at home because my husband was "unreliable at work" (he switched jobs to make more money to provide for us, not sure how that is unreliable since he works 10 more hours and for quite a few more dollars per hour than before, but, okay). Now, this woman has helped me out substantially in my career, and I could not be more grateful. My plan has to always keep up with keeping my licenses and certifications up to date so that I could return to work part-time (yes, only part time, to her disapproval) when the kids go to school or find a pharmacy to work for when shit hits the fan. However, when she said these things, my not-so-easily offended self couldn't help but be offended, hurt, angry, and confused all in one.

You see, I was raised by a stay at home mother and a hardworking stepfather. My mom would return to work when we weren't in sports or when money got a little tight, but for the most part (I would say 95% of my childhood), she stayed at home. I definitely think my parents' relationship is why I think the way I do. I've SEEN the traditional roles work out. My family definitely has many other problems, but that was never one of them. Having my mother there my whole life made me feel safe. I could always depend on her, as it should be. Looking back, I honestly wish I would have respected my parent's more than I did (I had a rebelling period after they made me move states right before graduating high school, though it was more of the economy's fault than theirs). All I can do now as an adult is show them unconditional love and gratitude for the way they raised me.

As I grow and mature a little more, and as my marriage goes on, I feel like I have found greater calling in traditional, western women roles. Motherhood and matrimony have always felt like the highest calling. Working full time disrupts this calling. It destroys the traditional family by giving the wife less time with her husband and with her children. As it is now, I only see my husband one to two full days of the week, and the other days just in passing, especially if overtime is given, because it is mandatory for him. This is an impossible and impracticable way to raise a family.  The costs and risks of daycare is just too great. I would rather raise my own children, even before having family members help out.

Women working definitely brings down wages for men. Why pay men a living wage when the wife is working, too? Together, they should be able to provide for themselves, Now the system can tax two people and raise the prices of necessities. The wage gap feminists drone on about probably exists because of women working in the first place. Granted, women make better nurses and caretakers than men, but when it comes to other jobs, they should be left to the men who are far better at it, such as most physical labor and big business owning. Single and widowed women should definitely be hired before a married woman, unless the married woman's husband is laid off, fired, or for any other reason cannot work (disability, surgery, etc). This may seem very sexist indeed, but just because a statement can have a problematic label stuck to it doesn't mean that it's wrong.

I've been paying close attention to the woman I work with for the past couple of years, and I've come to a few conclusions about women in the working field;

  • They complain a lot. 
  • It's hard to work during pregnancy or menstruation, and I'm actually pretty tired of this fact being ignored. We are told to push through these conditions and are shamed if our work performance slacks, but it's only natural. I for one cannot concentrate on my work when it feels like someone is stabbing me in the ovaries, and pregnancy makes you tired and more emotional. 
  • They are slower than their male coworkers at many things.
  • Customer service is hard on women, especially because it is harder for women to control their emotions. I've been scolded many times for "acting stressed" after a patient screamed at me because of HER insurance expiring, which made my work performance slack a little. I've noticed that all of my male coworkers are sooo much better at customer service and satisfaction than the woman, even the friendliest of us all. This is because men are less emotional.
  • Sexual harassment is often provoked by the woman in the workplace, and it is often ignored because it's by a female.
  • Women are less likely to keep their jobs before finding another one if they dislike the work they have to do, except in the cases of good single mothers, mostly (there are bad single mothers, too).
  • Career women are pretty unattractive. Customer service working women are extremely unattractive for the most part.
  • Women are more likely to be late than men, and take longer breaks.
  • There is a lot of bitterness in the working woman. Serving your community is never a bad thing, but when it is at the expense of serving your husband, family, and children, that is when it becomes a problem. It is so much more of a problem when you work for a corporation. I've worked a short time for a small, family owned business, and all of us part time non-family employees were extremely happy. It barely felt like a job. 
Now, these are my own personal observations, and there are definitely exceptions to all of these (and some cases where men are worse than women). However, I've found these observations to be more true than not in every situation. I think that a lot of modern women are in denial about this. A lot of "us" feel as if we should be more fulfilled in our careers, and if we choose family, it's suddenly something to shake your head at. It seems to be that a lot of women my age are extremely divided -- they either are 100% hardcore feminists who oppose the traditional way of life, or they are very conservative and long for those old days and old ways. 

It's hard to think of a solution to the problem of men being paid a living wage so that women can stay home with their families. What will it take? One step might be to stop pushing women to go straight to college and to stop telling young men and women in love that they "have their whole lives ahead of them, they shouldn't settle down". I married young and don't regret it one bit, and neither do a lot of us. Forcing women to instantly choose a career right after high school causes a lot of women to waste time and money on useless degrees and schools. Paying men a living wage will also help, but with our modern ways, feminists would destroy any company who dared to do so while still giving women lesser pay. There really is no winning. 

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